Be more
On human nature, self-improvement, and why fixating on characteristics like masculinity is a great way to sell books but an inadequate way to improve society
There’s nothing new about people fixating on the biological characteristics that come to us from birth -- things like sex or skin color -- as sources of identity. That’s always been with us. If a feature is readily visible, then it’s easy to select and identify by it.
■ But isn’t the whole process of civilization about overcoming instincts and replacing them with things that we (as a species) have discovered to work better? All animals have instincts, but we’re capable of much greater self-awareness than that.
■ It seems like a timely question because there are lots of people devoting time, attention, and other resources to interpreting those differences. Some of them mean well, like Scott Galloway plugging a book on bringing some social consciousness to “how to address the masculinity crisis”. Others plainly do not.
■ Of course, many differences exist among people, right from birth. And there is a commonality shared by all of us, too: Human nature, which really doesn’t ever change. We’re motivated by most of the same things (like curiosity, sexual attraction, and a desire for esteem) that motivated people 5,000 years ago. And we’re afraid of most of the same things (like loneliness, hunger, and death), too.
■ But parts of human nature are unproductive -- some are even barbaric -- and we need civilizing processes to make us into better people. Taking the example of sex, it might be instinctual for some people to try to build an identity mainly out of being a man or a woman. But most people have a lot more to offer than that -- or would, if gender were treated more as an incidental aspect of character rather than as the defining feature.
■ That doesn’t mean you have to ignore or suppress masculinity or femininity. It just means that people should strive to be good and complete and interesting, regardless of sex or gender. It’s harder to sell books with that message: “Masculinity crisis” sounds much more urgent.
■ But the essence of being civilized is in improving ourselves in all the ways we can, not in fixating on those things that characterize us from birth. Fix the shortcomings that exist in the ways we guide young people to enrich their self-identity beyond the immutable, and you’ll see much greater happiness overall.
