The wrong way to stand out

On being unique, being special, and the danger of using exceptions as a substitute for both

As measles outbreaks continue to spread in places like Texas and Ohio, what should be unthinkable has become the tragic reality: At least three people, including two children, have died of a disease so utterly preventable that it was thought to have been eradicated 25 years ago.

■ The persistence of a pernicious anti-vaccination movement is in no small part to blame: MMR vaccination rates among school-aged children have dropped to 92.7%, and the Texas outbreak is spreading almost exclusively among the unvaccinated. But, as a root cause, a fundamental problem about self-understanding shares at least a fraction of the blame, as well.

■ Every human being is unique. We are constructed out of both nature and nurture, and the combination makes everyone different. This uniqueness is, paradoxically, the thing we can all be certain that we share -- no two of us are the same, which creates a foundation for celebrating both our similarities and our differences. To be human is to be unique. We all are.

■ We can also be special, though being special is different from being unique. To be special is a relational experience: One can be special to a grandparent, a teacher, or a minister, for example. One can also be special for a time -- like being the center of attention on a birthday. Most everyone is special to someone, somewhere, sometimes, but it's different from being unique; being special naturally ebbs and flows, depending upon who is around to express it.

■ And then, a person can be exceptional. The exceptional person is different -- so different that we make exceptions for them to the ordinary rules and customs. The exceptional person is, in some way, set apart from everyone else because their difference overwhelms society's capacity to make ordinary way for them.

■ These three definitions -- unique, special, and exceptional -- have been confused for one another far too much for our own good. Everyone is unique, and most everybody is special to at least someone out there. But there are those who are unsatisfied with being unique and unfulfilled by how special they feel, so they insist on being treated exceptionally. Some people truly are exceptional, of course, but a lot of people try to feel unique or special by forcing others to treat them as exceptions.

■ Strident anti-vaccination behavior often falls into this category. There certainly are those who have real immune complications that make them authentic exceptions: They cannot be safely vaccinated, and their safety depends upon everyone else getting vaccinated so that herd immunity can shield them.

■ But others reject the obvious best practices at both the individual and community levels and refuse remarkably safe, effective, and well-established vaccines. Many seem to do so merely because claiming a right to act in an "exceptional" way appears to scratch an emotional itch for them that being "unique" or "special" does not. That impulse is turning out to have dire consequences for children, and it needs to be turned back.